Becoming Vulnerable

What does it mean to be vulnerable? Dictionary.com's first definition of the word is, "capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt." Who wants that?

Being vulnerable is hard. Earlier this week at a professional development we discussed the excuses that we use to overcome our vulnerability. We pretend; we act as though it wasn't our fault, and we do not accept responsibility. We make things certain; we convince ourselves of our opinions and beliefs, and we don't leave any room for uncertainty

However, avoiding the risk of making ourselves vulnerable is not helpful. It doesn't improve us as people. It doesn't improve us as leaders. It doesn't improve our schools. We have to take risks and make ourselves vulnerable.

Brene Brown does a much better job than me of discussing The Power of Vulnerability in her powerful TED Talk.

Brown says, "Vulnerability is kind of the core of shame, and fear and our struggle for worthiness." But she goes on to say that vulnerability, "is also the birthplace of Joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love." Those are desirable things. So how do I make myself vulnerable? Or maybe a better question is, how do I try to make myself vulnerable? Because like I said earlier in the post, being vulnerable is hard; it is a continual work in progress.

In her TED talk, Brown talks about having courage. When I think about having courage I think about things like not having to be perfect. We need to give ourselves permission to fail. Recently, we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday; like he famously says, "but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." This is true. We don't have to be perfect, but we have to have the courage to try and then continuously try again.

Brown also talks about the need for compassion. And this is not just having compassion towards others, but maybe more important is that we are kind to ourselves. Perfection is often unattainable; making errors and mistakes are reality. Learn from them. Embrace them. Being uncomfortable stretches us, but that's how we grow. Embrace it.

And Brown goes-on to talk about connections. We can't do this alone. We have to develop relationships with people. Our actions have to have a certain level of transparency. And we have to be able to trust those that we are working with.

It is important that we make continual efforts to practice gratitude and joy. We have to love with our whole hearts, even when there are no guarantees...because often times, there are no guarantees. And we have to have self confidence; we have to believe in ourselves. Like Brown tells, us "I am enough."

We must become vulnerable. We must risk failure, scrutiny, change, and embarrassment in-order to do the things that what we think are going to be what is best for kids.

One Word

Several summers ago, I heard Jon Gordon speak at the annual SAI conference. He spoke about choosing one word and focusing on living your life so that your actions reflect that one word. I chose balance.

The past couple of days, I've noticed this idea resurfacing within my PLN. As a result, I've been inspired to choose one word and then blog about my rationale selecting it.

My one word for 2016...

• Remember why I became an educator
• Remember to keep my family first
• Remember to find balance between my work and the rest of my life
• Remember to take care of myself so that I am able to take care of others
• Remember that my attitude and energy set the tone for everyone else in the school
• Remember that everyone (both staff and students) comes to school with circumstances that we don't know about
• Remember that being involved in difficult situations isn't a bad thing; being involved in difficult situations forces one to grow
• Remember that I have a network of people that I can share both my celebrations and my struggles
• Remember to keep pushing to make positive changes to benefit kids
• Remember that Rome was not built in a single day
• Remember that I am working with 5, 6, 7, and 8 year old kids
• Remember that I am working with kids who are someone's children; kids who are someone else's whole entire world
• Remember that I have the power to make a positive impact
• Remember that I have made positive impacts before

A New Year's Resolution

Prior to the beginning of  this school year, I started to use Voxer. And it has been great. I know that I've shared this sentiment before, but the benefit I've gained from this application that is downloaded onto my phone is worth repeating.

• Connecting with principals, coast-to-coast, regarding a myriad of topics that principals encounter on a day-to-day basis
• The convenience of these connections taking place on my terms, anywhere and anytime
• The ideas that other principals share that I am able to tailor and make my own
• The positivity that we inspire within each other.

Two groups that I am a part of have been especially motivating. Principals in Action is one of the two groups. The focus of this group is simple. Principals being out of their offices, and instead spending their time in classrooms working with kids. Work. Life. Balance. is the other group. This group focuses on helping us (principals) find a balance in life; we talk about how we (principals) can maintain a commitment to our job that allows us to be effective while at the same time making enough time for ourselves, our families, and our friends.

I wholeheartedly believe in the messages that both of these two Voxer groups communicate.

As a principal, I believe, that I need to be in classrooms and I need to be working with kids. That being said, a principal has many additional obligations. Like most jobs, there is never enough time to
do it all. This is an internal battle that I struggle with, daily. I want to be a great principal. But I don't want to let my work consume me. I want to be a great husband and a great father; I want to go home
and be able to comfortably disconnect for a few hours so that I can spend quality time with my wife and our young kids.

This brings me to a few school related New Year's resolution that I want to share.

• I plan on recommitting to being-in classrooms in 2016. I felt good about how I was doing with this to begin the year. However, as the year has gone-on and things have come-up, I'm no longer where I want to be in this regard.

• Something that I've never done, previously, but plan to start doing is taking my laptop (and/or iPhone) into classrooms and doing a little bit of my own work alongside students who are doing their work. This was an idea that was shared in our Work.Life.Balance. Voxer group (thanks!). This idea that became my primary New Year's resolution was the inspiration for this blog post, as I am hopeful that this resolution will help me find a better work-life-balance in 2016.

• I still plan to talk with kids whenever I am in classrooms. 

• Last year, I was at a school (that I'd been at for three years) with approximately 250 kids. I was very proud of the fact that I knew ALL of their names! This year I am at a new school. This year I am at a school with approximately 375 kids. I am embarrassed to admit that I do not know all of their names. I need to get into classrooms, more and increase the amount of students that I am able to refer to by their first name. This matters.

•  Also, as a result of being in classrooms more often, I will be able to do a better job of sharing our school's day-to-day celebrations. It is my job to tell our school's story. If I am not doing this, someone else will. I want to be the one that frames our story. We have Facebook page and a hashtag (#StarryShines); I want to do a better job in 2016 of promoting ourselves through those platforms.

What are your school related New Year's resolutions for 2016?